I've been back from Hong Kong now for a few days. What an amazing place Hong Kong is!! I felt it was like an outer body experience spending ten days there, partly due to the never ended jet lag I had. My tattoo took just over 16 hrs to complete, so this time was spent in a half dream world, lying on my front musing my life and soaking in the experiences, sights and smells I was enjoying in the Far East, so I was unable to beat the jet lag blues. But it was unique seeing it all in a detached, dreamlike state. It gave me a perspective I wouldn't otherwise have had and for all that.. I had an amazing time. My tattoo by the way is INCREDIBLE!! A work of art a master painter would be proud of. I love it.
Life is not good for my Sister in Hong Kong. She has made friends and found her niche there, and for sure she has good times, but the circumstances of her being there is not good. She fell out of love with my Brother-in-law, and, in her own words, the more she peels away the layers the more she dislikes him. I think she borders on hate just now. They made an agreement between them that whilst my Brother-in-law works in Hong Kong then she would agree to be there so he's got his daughters (my fabulous nieces) with him, then when he is finished (looking at a year I think) and they move back to Australia they will split and divorce.
In my life I am often quiet, I like to listen and observe, watch things play out, see what happens when certain movements play out. After doing this for many years a person observes patterns, patterns of behaviour and emotions.. it gives a person a unique perspective. I know that if my Sister and Bother-in-law had split when first they realised their feelings (well my Sister as she is the one who fell out of love) then they'd have a happy relationship now and still some mutual feelings of respect. My parents were the same and are still together. I remember when my Sister and I were very young and my Dad saying to us one night after he'd had a few drinks following a verbal bashing from my Mum.. if it wasn't for us kids they would have divorced a long time ago. That was a stupid decision I learnt later. Their mutual bitterness at each other, then at us children, being blamed for the shittyness of their life was long lasting and damaged our relationship beyond repair. Yet in this world we live in now, where divorce is as common as sliced bread, I look around, and I see broken families far happier than ours ever was. Where the relationships and bonds are strong. My parents, and now my Sister, do what is expected of them, what is expected to be right. And that is never, ever the right thing to do. Ever. I do know my nieces see their bitterness and block it out, they have no voice, no say in the matter. I know they love their Father, but I also know they miss all their friends and life in Australia. My Sister and Brother-in-law have made a decision based on them, not on their children. And their life is hideous because of it.
Where did it all go wrong? That is a testament of today's society. Love, feelings, companionship and friendship no longer matter when it comes to people marrying or becoming life partners. Now it's a tick box when people choose their partners. From a male perspective (for obvious reasons) it is clear that many women (not all) look for the guy who earns a lot of money, is pliable, works out and has a 'fit' body, doesn't smoke, owns a house, dresses in a trendy (commercial/sheep) way etc. It is the media perspective of the ideal male.. a cock hanging between his knees, tanned skin, £40,000 car. It's the same the other way of course, the media perspective of the ideal woman; waifer thin, dressed in such and such a way etc. And really this is all complete horseshit. The media decides what people find attractive, it always has, throughout history. Look at it, the man's man was what was once attractive, movies are the finest example, the film stars. The old film stars were strong men who took no shit, a man's man, the women were attractive, healthy and fullsome (though often portrayed as subservient).. then look now at all the metrosexual wimpy men there are now. Blow and they fall over. The strong muscly women or waifer thin women, all strong and in charge, the man is the subservient one. This all makes me laugh so very much. I believe in balance in the world, there's never just one thing. I have a saying that's ALWAYS been right:
Nothing is more than the sum of it's parts.
No one thing is right, no one thing is the answer to anything. It's the combination of things that make up the whole, and none of these things can be discounted or be any less important than the others. There is a place for everyone and everything, people just need to realise this and be comfortable in themselves. It's about teamwork, not the individual.
So my Sister met a guy who was plain looking, placid, a tech geek who earnt really well and who'd allow her to be in charge. This was her tick box. I know this because she is my Sister and I know men, and I know my Bro-in-law. Unfortunately, because of these tick boxes my Sister has never respected him. Therefore it was doomed from the start.My Sister never saw beyond that which she decided she wanted in a man.
They often say that to meet 'the' partner you should stop looking and it will just happen. Why do they say this? Because whilst you are looking you are marking off a tick box. What is important is mutual respect, friendship, passion and understanding. You get these when you achieve the three things I stated before.. a good heart, honesty and openness. Then you will work together, love together and 'be' together. All the rest is media bullshit. Make no mistake.
Hong Kong is an incredible place. There is no perceivable middle class, people are either rich or poor. The city is a crazy metropolis, 100 mph. Craziness and oh so beautiful. But my favourite place was Ngong Ping. A place of utter tranquility on the edge city madness.
So after this eye opening trip, my rebirth in the far flung Far East, where am I? I have been back a few days, the reverse jet lag is done, and last night I had the house to myself. A curry from my friend's restaurant, a movie and peace. Now I am refreshed, reborn and ready to roll.
So now I'll observe and listen. Watch things with a detached perspective and make decisions based not on expectation or flawed media ideals but on reality. I am no longer the pliable fella who is unwilling to upset people so will meekly go about my business and do what I'm told. No, I'm a Fire Dragon. 6'4, with razor sharp wits. If people don't like it. Go jump. This man cares not. If people aren't good people, honest and open. If people don't think for themselves and mean the best by people then they're gone. Especially if people do things for the sake of them. Or for manipulation. My life clear out begins. I have two to go straight away. *click, click*
And so my life begins..
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